Just Shag It

It is really late right now. I have been fighting really hard for a long time. Fighting to be positive, to grow through self improvement, meditation, healthy lifestyle, blah, blah, blah. I feel worn down right now. I should be in bed, I should have gone to the gym, why was I so tired to today? I thought I was feeling better lately. Ahhr!

I just don’t have the time nor am I in the mood for pretty words right now. The fact is I am tired of trying to feel good. Do you know what? Most of the time I feel like I am dragging my ass through quick sand and the moment ย I get a medication that gives me a bit of energy I am suddenly becoming hypomanic. We better stop them or you’ll become manic. Well to hell with it! I say bring it on! Bring on the hypomania, while we’re at it, ramp it up to full blown mania! Anything to get me out of this slump.

I see the laundry sitting there, I want to do it but it is as though there are a thousand elephants holding me down. It is so frustrating to almost have normal energy but to be not quite there. It’s down right painful!

I will admit that I have been feeling better than I did when I was in a severe depression, but god help me I do not feel the way other people appear to feel. Why is everything such a chore for me? Showering, errands, cooking, getting dressed, and on and on. I want to have daily energy! Some days are okay but I am still pushing myself through. That makes the days that are not okay a darn chore. I have just started Wellbutrin and I hope to high heaven it boosts my mood and energy because I can’t fake it anymore. Not that I have been doing a great job of faking it anyway. Shag it all!

And that, folks, is how I am feeling right now. Raw. I am so sick of it!

 


 

 

Sick Of It

6 Comments on “Just Shag It

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    Like

        • Don’t worry about it. I have started to just listen to my body and mind and try not to feel guilty about not accomplishing everything I had planned. Most things can wait. Sometimes you just need to rest your body or mind or both! Listen to yourself, it well let you know what it needs, and love yourself because you are you. Expectations are just that, something that we create for ourselves and beat ourselves up if anything less is accomplished. Like I say, just shag it all if that’s how you feel. It’s okay! Life doesn’t really create such rules for us, we do it to ourselves. So I didn’t pick up the mail or get groceries today, shag it I’ll do it tomorrow if I feel like it! ๐Ÿ˜‰

          Liked by 1 person

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